Kickstarter - Chaos Calls to Chaos

Chaos Calls To Chaos

She thought too much and too often about the things she couldn’t control,

Every scenario, every worry, every mistake weighing her down, 

It was as if every strand of her hair was tied to a thought and that thought 

Swelled up into a wave--creating an ocean of chaos. 

On the inside her mind stormed with crashing rapids and stirring ships; 

Her smile appeared to bloom a beautiful garden--but even that too, was Chaos. 

Psalm 42:6, MSG

“When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you,

From Jordan depths to Hermon heights, including Mount Mizar. Chaos calls to chaos, to the tune of whitewater rapids. Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers crash and crush me. Then God promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God’s prayer.”      

Resting within these pages lay dormant thoughts, ideas, questions and ramblings -- many are personal cries and confessions, while others are inspired by God-given discernment of unspoken feelings that those around me have experienced. When we call in chaos we receive just that, when we point our thoughts on God, his grace washes away each chaotic wave. The Divine Creator wishes for us to let go of the things weighing us down and surrender them. No longer shall we be oppressed by the thoughts or feelings that have trapped, shamed and scared us away from fully embracing our gracious God. 

This project was inspired by the idea that like attracts like, when we engage in chaos we receive chaos, when we allow chaotic emotions to rise, chaos ensues; the mind is overwhelmed, the body retreats to fight for flight and the heart becomes tainted with bitterness. 

While in the beginning years of my walk with the Lord Jesus, I found myself numbed to the thoughts, temptations and questions that I was afraid to share with others in the “house of God” because I felt I would be judged or misunderstood. So instead of confessing, I buried the burdens deeper into my being and as this progressed my spirit became more and more weary, less faithful, more judgemental and distant from God all together. Just like in Matthew 14:22-32, when Peter saw Jesus amidst the storm, paraphrased here, he said “Lord if it is you, call me and I will come” The lord said, “it is I, Come to me’’ 

Peter stepped forward in a brief moment of faith, then he looked around at the storm, taking  his eyes off of Jesus and onto the uncertainty of the wind – giving power to the storm rather than to his Savior. So he fell, he began to sink into unbelief, “Lord save me!” he cried out and  Jesus grabbed him without hesitation. After grabbing hold of him, Jesus says to Peter, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 

When he gives a command it is so clear and simple, yet when it’s heard while living in the flesh, feelings of unbelief seep into the mind. The Lord reminds me often of this experience Peter had. We live in a world so tainted with knowledge that it becomes very difficult to step forward in BLIND FAITH. We love to be in the know. We love to say we are being guided by him but when he truly guides us and we take the first steps there's this questioning spirit that arises within saying, 

“Look at this storm, there's so Sun in this forecast” 

“Look at the facts, a human can’t walk on water!” 

“Look at how easy it was for that person, you're trying too hard.” 

“Look at the odds against you, why would God save you?” 

The enemy loves to grab our focus, he's loud, flamboyant, persistent and his lies put scales over our eyes, removing the view of faith’s ever so simple guidance. 

Jesus so simply asks us “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” In essence he’s saying, didn't you see that you were walking on water until you let your mind try to make sense of it? Didn't you see you were getting closer to me no matter how unstable the ground beneath you was? I'm right here in front of you, “Come to me.” Come to me no matter how the path ahead looks. Come to me. 

The poems within this book represent the soul’s journey through insecurity, disbelief, comparison, self-harm, lust, anger and heartbreak; among other things. 

This book is for the daughter of The Heavenly Father who feels alone in her walk, for the sister in Christ who hasn't fully shared her testimony, for the child of God who needs a reminder that she isn't alone and that others have been in her shoes. 

By supporting this project you are partnering with me in this God-given assignment to love one another, inspire audacious faith and share the good news to the lost sheep within the Church. This book is for them. I was once one of those “lost sheep in the church” Thinking I had it all together… And it wasn't until I became vulnerable and courageous in sharing the testimony of the Lord moving in my life that the scales were removed and I could see clearly. 

Sister, you are not alone. Your story is valuable to the Kingdom. Your prayers are heard by God. Your faith is a sweet fragrance to the Lord in Heaven. Your body is a beautiful vessel for the Holy Spirit. Your soul belongs to Jesus and he intends to care for it with the purest love you will ever know. 

I look forward to sharing these poems with you. 

God bless.